Just the best. I wonder where one gets them on the West Coast.

[Confidential to A the H: I'm asking for a friend.]

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.

"What?" Attila the Hub is concerned.

"They made my martini with vodka, rather than gin. Do you know why?"

He appears to sigh, just a little. "Why?"

"Because of the patriarchy, silly. It's the same reason I have dry skin."

He raises an eyebrow. "Dry skin is caused by patriarchy?"

I take a sip of my thoroughly inadequate drink. "Absolutely. The Man is keeping me from getting my share of emollients. And gin. Just like in the Third World: not enough hand lotion, and too much vodka. And women bearing the brunt of it."

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:21 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 98 words, total size 1 kb.

I confide in her rather earnestly that I'm considering growing up this year.

She giggles. "Don't be hasty," she tells me.

"Oh, I'm not going to just jump in blindly," I assure her. "I'm still doing a cost-benefit analysis."

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 57 words, total size 1 kb.

I have a long list of things to do, and yet none of them really sing out to me.

"Oh, duty, duty—
Why hast thou not the visage of a sweetie, or a cutie?"

—Ogden Nash

Of course, I was genuinely under the weather for a few days. But still . . .

Posted by: Attila Girl at 02:49 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.

"Of course," he replies. "I might bail on my own party, and decide to shadow you instead."

"That's fine," I tell him as I put on mascara. "Did you want to verify that the guys I'll be talking to at the party are gay?"

"Of course. I might just emerge from the shadows and demand that they sing show tunes. Just to be safe."

"Fair enough." And I put on my lipstick.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:05 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 80 words, total size 1 kb.

he informs me. "And we'll have latkes. My mother makes excellent latkes."

"Will you be eating beef brisket?" I ask.

There is a pause. Then he remarks, "you must know a lot of Jews."

"Define 'a lot,'" I request.

And he has no answer.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 12:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 54 words, total size 1 kb.

That wasn't my original plan, but that's what I did. Unless one wants to credit me for the housework I did, or classify the mysteries I read as "research," or characterize exercise as being work, or give me the benefit of a doubt and assume I'll be productive during the night tonight.

Which is possible. But I don't care much. Because I'm grabbing more reading material, and going back to bed. Please don't bug me unless the house is burning down, okay?

See you tomorrow. It's been an intense several weeks.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 08:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 103 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . is finally over. I had a three-week cycle to put together the newsletter for my non-profit, so the art director and I had to crank to make that happen. Meanwhile, both the Chair and the Vice Chair of the organization were out, so I had to chair both the big meetings this past Saturday.

Meanwhile, last week was also the "on" week for my daytime proofreading job, and I was still getting over that wacky virus as the week started out.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:08 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.

Pretending to be half asleep, hoping to fend off an attack? And knowing that if there were one, you could "come to life" suddenly and hold your own?

Do you remember how it never quite worked out, though logic dictated that it would?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:51 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.

1 This would make a great metaphor for something else in life. Now, if there only was a link...

Posted by: Darrell at December 10, 2006 01:38 PM (O4TxY)

2 No link. I drank too much, and the monsters started coming out from under my psychic bed. Which is fine: at least I know how to banish them again.

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 11, 2006 04:11 AM (zxOEV)

3 At least you don't have friendly, well-meaning commenters that suggest putting together a Gin Registry so that generous readers can fuel this process. The trick is to make that space under your psychic bed so damned comfy that the monsters never want to come out. Except when you face a life-threatening situation, of course.

Posted by: Darrell at December 11, 2006 09:29 AM (zH3l4)

4 I keep the monsters around for literary purposes only. They are actually pretty domisticated, at this point.

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 11, 2006 01:16 PM (zxOEV)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Writer's group tonight, and I don't have a thing to wear read.

I'm also scrambling on my volunteer/underpaid work for the nonprofit, and begin my bimonthly stint at the magazine tomorrow. All while other clients scream at me from the sidelines (including my father, who would like me to actually do the things he's paid me for; this seems a bit unreasonable, of course).

Blogging will be light, possibly until the end of time.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 76 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . is tomorrow. Usually when we have Thanksgiving dinner at someone else's place I cook an additional turkey at home. Often, it happens on the day after, but this time I'll be roasting a nine-pounder tomorrow, when we get back from church.

And then? Planes, Trains & Automobiles,of course.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:18 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 55 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Happy Reprise Dinner! BTW - Why? Just curious.

Posted by: k at November 26, 2006 03:27 AM (lCUKc)

2 To generate leftover turkey, for soup and sandwiches, and to take advantage of the availability of cheap/free turkeys around Thanksgiving. This one cost me $3.

Posted by: Attila Girl at November 26, 2006 09:47 AM (LEEsJ)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

. . . climbed while I was out of town. This is either a tribute to Cal Tech Girl's prowess, or a delicate way my readers have of suggesting that the best way to increase my hits is to stop writing.

Not that I'm hurt, mind you.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:13 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 55 words, total size 1 kb.

But I'd rather have the door to sleep unlocked, versus locked—and a prison once I'm in it.

One of the officers on board the Titanic was asked how he could have slept through the hubbub that ensued when the ship hit the iceberg: "we don't get too much sleep," he replied. "So when we do sleep, we die."

These days I get drowsy, and it's delightful. I can nap at will, without fearing that I'll be out of commission for 18 hours—mostly.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 11:05 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 96 words, total size 1 kb.

there is something deeply neurotic about someone who persists in cleaning off her glasses, and then pouring another gin and tonic, so the fizzy water jumps back up onto the lenses.

I have, um. An acquaintance. She does this sort of thing. Sisyphean, no?

Posted by: Attila Girl at 07:52 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 60 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Has your friend tried removing her glasses BEFORE she pours? Cleaning her eyeglasses after? Wearing a Plexiglas face shield? Having the butler pour? Longer arms?

Posted by: Darrell at November 24, 2006 08:51 PM (ohaAk)

2 No, no. The pouring isn't a problem. It's those first several sips of the G&T that do her in.

Posted by: Attila Girl at November 24, 2006 08:56 PM (LEEsJ)

3 It's those few LAST sips that do me in... Has your friend tried a sippy cup?

Posted by: Darrell at November 24, 2006 09:14 PM (ohaAk)

4

Posted by: Attila Girl at November 25, 2006 04:53 AM (LEEsJ)

5 \~/ @}>-'-,--

Posted by: Darrell at November 25, 2006 09:37 AM (n8BVp)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Yesterday I got a couple of headaches during the day, but I didn't think much of it: I figured it was dehydration. Got light-headed a few times as we were setting up for the big monthly meetings. And my runny nose I chalked up to being in a meeting room with too many donated/dusty couches. Got chills though, late last night: my teeth chattered.

I slept 17 hours, and I'm still sniffly, dehydrated, and tired. So it's either some sort of little bug, or post-stress exhaustion. Yet tomorrow and Tuesday will be crunch days, so I'm "power-resting" right now. I need to get a lot done before we drive up to the Bay Area on Tuesday.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 06:20 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 124 words, total size 1 kb.

A. Concentrate on my children's book.
B. Prepare for the inevitable divorce proceedings, once my husband sees just how badly the murder mystery sucks.
C. Throw myself into my nonprofit work.
D. Try to get some short stories published.
E. Work on that memoir thingy.
F. Drink red wine, and eat salad made with butter lettuce.
G. Get a real job.

UPDATE: Alphabet now alphabetized.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 01:58 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 81 words, total size 1 kb.

"I'd like to see you," I tell him. "Once I'm past these deadlines."

"Do you have a recent picture?" He asks.

"Nothing under a year old. And I've put on some weight since then."

"I'm kind of busy lately," he remarks. "Why don't I give you a Yahoo address, and you can write me there . . . ?"

Posted by: Attila Girl at 10:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 65 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Most likely married. Or, sadly, unwilling to date a healthy woman.

Posted by: Chuck Simmins at November 16, 2006 12:00 PM (t2RbV)

2 Naw, he was just goofing--he's a friend

Posted by: Attila Girl at November 16, 2006 01:31 PM (LEEsJ)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

B: "Am I self-centered, or is it just me?"

Posted by: Attila Girl at 09:39 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm hanging out with young R, and his friend the college student. R mentions that he's got a crush on a 35-year-old woman, and his friend remarks, "you can learn a lot from these older women."

I try not to smile.

He turns to me and starts, "you know, speaking of which—" and then catches sight of my left hand. "You're married. Say, do you happen to have a daughter?"

Posted by: Attila Girl at 03:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 82 words, total size 1 kb.

. . . when they have menopausal dreams?

Oh, wait—not everyone's that lucky, are they? Sorry, guys: your loss.

Posted by: Attila Girl at 04:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.